Dear Mr. President. Welcome to this brief introductory reading about KEN. It's a hilarious gay party in Vienna, you'll love it. Much better than any gay party in Vienna, in Austria, in the whole world. Austria, not Australia! Australia is so not to party. Lockout laws, total losers, right in the face. In Austria we have boys, more boys, pretty boys, so many pretty boys. It's no fake. Trust us. All gay.
KEN is a unique universe which now celebrates four years of happiness, four amazing years. Sign it. It's gonna be February 18th.
We have the sweetest candy. Candy so sweet it melts on your tongue. And boys, giving that sweetest candy away. For free. People love it, no complaints.
You love women, so do we. We have so many beautiful women. Tamara Mascara and Jurassica Parka. You love your wig, we love them too. We have crazy wigs, long wigs, green wigs, pink wigs. The greatest wigs of the world.
This is Mart.i. He makes incredible music, even though he is from Germany. This is Caruso, he loves music. And he's is obviously gay. You'll love him.
You love deals. We make great deals. Since four years. Great party. Great happiness. 2for1 on cocktails you never saw before in your dildo like hotels.
You love big things and you love touching. We got it all. We got a love zone. Made of great black Molton. And a pink sign on it, you can't miss it. Nobody pays for that, extra. There are just holes. Tiny ones, big ones and black ones. But never walls. It's fantastic, you're gonna love it. Check it out. Make it great again. Oh wait. It's just as great as can be.
Of course, Donald, we understand it's America first, but please can we put KEN fourth? Or can we take any ranking so long as it's not KEN first?